Eye Doctor

"It's OK buddy, don't cry. One day maybe you'll get a real bike like the rest of us." I was quoting a riding buddy in a conversation with my new eye doctor.

I found myself in his chair Saturday because I needed a new prescription for disposable contact lenses. Super nice guy, but I couldn't help being nervous about the questions.

"What kind are you currently using?"... "I see, well those haven't been manufactured for over fifteen years. Can you tell me when they were prescribed? Eighteen years ago? They don't last that long though..."

It didn't please him at all to find out that I wore them until they tore or built up so much of a texture that they woudln't stay put. This was often over a year.

Then the questions about how I cared for them started. What brand of saline are you using? Coffee? Promise me you'll never re-hydrate your dried lenses by dipping them in your coffee cup. Yes, I understand the coffee is hot, but it still isn't sterile."

The worst moment was when I told him that if one comes out on the highway, I just pop it in my mouth and try to remember not to chew until I get to the next rest stop. He looked at my much-used motorcycle gloves stuffed in the helmet and turned pale.

I went on to explain that one motorcycle trip I had jalapenos for lunch. When I popped the contact back in my eye tears flowed for something like 20 minutes. That's when my motorcycle buddy mistook my reaction to the peppers for an emotional response to finding myself on the smallest Harley in the group.

The way I see it is your eyes are a moist membrane exposed to everything in the air around you. When someone sneezes, it gets into your eyes. Someone blows cigarette smoke, it gets in your eyes, etc. I'm not suggesting anyone abuse their eyes or any other part of their body, but don't get paranoid.